Friday, October 28, 2011

Gahhhhh Issues. On Thursday? How sad.

I am having some big issues lately. As many people (all?) do, but tonight they're all colliding. It's my favorite day of the week (Thursday! Only slightly marred by the frequency of essays due Friday), and it upsets me that I'm so upset.
I am going to vent in a list, and iron out some thoughts. Maybe I'll fix some things next week, after the Halloween madness subsides. (I'd better)

1) I went to the costume store too late and they were out of Peter Pan hats. At least they're easy to make. and the felt, feather, and little sword were the only things I had to purchase for my costume! $15 total probably by the end. Cheapest Halloween? Perhaps so far.

2) I still don't have internet at my apartment.
(My roommate B's computer can mooch internet at the dining room table from some neighbor-or-other, but mine cannot, and it is too slow to use for homework anyway.)
This is both bad and awesome.

Why no internet at apt. is awesome:
  • internet is intimidating and frightening. 
  • I have a terrible sense of time when involved with internet. (Where did the last four hours go?)
  • People that are visiting your house always have funny videos to show you, or you have funny videos to show them, and your whole evening becomes absorbed by internet.
  • The dishes get done, clothes put away, and carpet is "vacuumed" (carpet-sweeper, no vacuum) much more often. It's like entertainment, since I only own about 5 movies and 3 seasons of Smallville that I've seen 5 times each. Because it's clean we can move the coffee table next to the old steamer-trunk and have wicked-awesome dance parties. No internet = more dancing.
  • internet is frightening and intimidating (enough to be listed as such twice).
  • I don't like either of my two choices of companies for internet service at my apartment. Neither local company can service my apartment for various reasons, so I can have Time Warner Cable or Frontier (Verizon)...
  • I have to pay for the intrusion on my time and mental stability.
Why no internet at apt. is bad:
  • Posting typecasts is much more complicated, so I have a small pile of things I *meant* to post and never did, also I am bad at keeping in touch with most people without internet (semi-related: I also have trouble with phones). 
  • I need internet to do my math homework, so I end up spending a lot of time at cafes, or my mom's office, doing a lot of math at once instead of spreading it out over the week, this takes time from my other homework, and I am home less.
  • I also can't check my email (if class is cancelled or for other important info) or email assignments to myself in lieu of having a printer. This forces me to lug my laptop to school when I don't' need it for anything other than emailing and printing an average four-page assignment.
So in the end it saves a little of the time it consumes...but I have a hard time biting the bullet and just calling either company. B has a landline through Frontier (getting rid of her cell soon), but when she moves (March-ish) I'm not going to be able to afford the landline, since I'm keeping my cell phone. I think I'd rather do business with TWC, and I'm fairly certain the same amount of $ will result in faster internet.

3) My computer is glitchy, and it has nothing to do with 3 1/2 years of age.
My backpack fell a week or so ago, and now my computer screen turns off on its own allllll the time. Randomly. Certain angles help it stay on longer, and I can't turn the brightness past 1. I can no longer use my computer when it's light outside, so I spend a lot of time at mom's office, and way too little time at home. There's internet here. (see above)
I need to go to the bookstore on campus and talk to the Mac-dudes (or whatever they're called), but I always forget before I leave campus. Which brings me to my next point:

4) My car is kaput. (Well, it's "Mom's" car technically.)
After 5 years of being my faithful sidekick and safe-place for all thoughts, long drives, and loud music, the ball-joints gave out, and she's not worth enough to spend the money fixing her.  It was my Dad's car until he couldn't drive anymore, and I miss driving it more than I am comfortable missing an inanimate object/material possession, but there it is. Miss it a sh*t-ton.

5) I can't seem to start essay-writing until 11:30pm the night before it's due. A personal, ongoing problem with procrastination that this storm of uncomfortable (though not necessarily depressing) feelings is not helping in the slightest.

6) Still having trouble responding to any sort of correspondence (mail, phone calls, emails, etc) within a reasonable time-frame. Sorry to all inconvenienced and/or hurt. Working on it...

7) Need a second job. Probably will end up being in retail, since they're hiring for the holidays. Might not get to go to Boise for Thanksgiving (family tradition since "forever") for the 2nd year in a row. Last year it was the weather.

8) This isn't exactly an issue but more of a concern:
Monday is the "real" Halloween (as opposed to the inevitable celebrations tomorrow and Saturday) drink or not to drink?
It is my first Halloween after 21, and there is a Halloween party/costume contest/blue Monday combo at the bar, which I have rarely gone to since early September (baaad decisions were made, hangovers were experienced, lessons were learned). I also work at NINE in the morning Tuesday. We'll see what happens.

Aaaand last and least:
9) I don't like writing about literary criticism. Writing about writing that was written about writing is...extremely "meta" and bothers me. Maybe that's the straw that wrote this blog post.

Lengthy, but refreshing. Talk to you soon. (If I survive Halloween, get my computer screen fixed, and call TWC to install internet)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


    (In memory of Scott Hanford, 1951-2006)
Imagination is small comfort when you keep passing by,
my dreams troubled by your puzzling appearances.
You can't answer the questions I never ask,
but we don't linger long enough each night
to get past the awkward reunions,
and face the hard conversation
I need to have with you.
I want to let go.
I need a good night's sleep,
the only thing I really want to know,
is could you be proud of me? I made mistakes
that nearly split the family into sharp distant shards,
but I think you would be glad I made the hard choice,
and you might be impressed how far we've come since then.
I miss you,
but I want a good night's sleep.
Can we talk? Can we really talk,
and will I listen if you don't agree?
See you tonight, let's skip the tearful reunion,
awkward trip to the grocery store, and all the small talk.
Let's get things done in the dreamscape,
So I can leave it behind,
and stop hearing your voice
around the corner, and your laugh
in the next aisle at the store.
Maybe I will be able to visit my other
"adopted" family without hearing you in their father's voice.

I love you, and I need to let you go.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Free-writing and then some!

This is one of the free-writes...and hopefully
the ones I do for her website will be of similar
format. Or handwritten and re-typed.
At the writing table, and that's my grandma's signature hat!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Why, hello July! Goodbye Moscow...(again)

IT IS NOT ALREADY JULY. Okay it is. at 12:14 am. No typecast tonight, because I haven't gotten a picture of my birthday/typewriter day cast taken, and also had a fast enough internet connection to upload the video. Next week!!

In other news, I am going to the Rainbow Gathering tomorrow! It hasn't been in the Northwest for quite a few years, since I was maybe 11 (and I didn't know what it was back then! haha) And my grandparents haven't been since 1989, though they used to go to quite a lot of them...

Anywho, I am very excited, and there are some cool Moscowites going in our two-car caravan, and it's going to be in what looks like a beautiful part of a forest in Western Washington, kind of near the Oregon's a 6 1/2 hour drive, so we're going to try leaving by 10...and I"m not packed yet! Eek!

I've been to the semi-local Santa Barter Fair almost every year since I was maybe 1 or 2 years old, but this is a completely different experience. About 20,000 people are going I think, almost as many people as live in Moscow, and probably more people than are here in the summertime! My goodness. I will hopefully have some pictures to share, and I reeeally hope I can get up the muscles to hike the little skyriter into camp, though it might be a long hike (for me) so we'll see. I may have some pen-casts instead for when I come back, in addition to the belated birthday/typewriter day update.

So I'm just postponing finishing (starting also) packing. I threw a 13-people dinner for my birthday party at my mom's house earlier tonight. The guests were: mom, birthmom, half-sister, birthdad, stepmom, dad's parents, my best friend & his boyfriend, my other best friend & his son, and a dear family friend who's pretty much my favorite uncle.

My dad put the salad together, Bobert (family friend) made guacamole for an appetizer, and I made grilled teriyaki-ish chicken, stir-fry vegetables, and rosemary-garlic pasta (from Seattle) with fresh basil. IT WAS SO DELICIOUS! If I had the cord to upload pictures I would show off a little. It took forever to get everyone sitting down, but the food was all ready at the same time! Well, within 10 minutes from each other, which is pretty amazing for me.

Gran made up some Five-Layer Dark Ganache Topped Maripan Dream Brownies and Chocolate Covered Strawberries with Sprinkles, and even gave me some aaaawesome gifts. The beginning of my own sewing kit in its own bag, two sets of silverware (that match! woa!) a book, and a little sketch kit. I love practical gifts! I never complain when I get socks for Christmas, or Hannukah. Hehe.

Okay enough. Enough. It was just a bit exciting, since I've never owned my own silverware or sewing kit, but I'm feeling a little over-attached to material things will be good to be out in the woods, with lots of people but not to many objects except writing utensils, cup, bowl, and warm clothes. My gran is lending me the pack she used to take to Gatherings!

Yep this went on a bit too long. I have thank-yous to write and objects to pack! Wish me luck. :) Hope everyone is having a good time out there in the world!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Late...and promises of more to come!

This is a typecast from a few days ago...I will have one from my birthday (typewriter day!) with a video as well, but not until tomorrow when I can use internet again with more time. I'm going to a wedding in a little while!

The view from that bench in Queen Anne. Right above 99.

Delicious coffee & delicious typewriter :)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Goodbye computer-written posts. (mostly)

I am getting a new camera for my birthday! It's orange, which is only one of the faaaabulous things about it. I will be able to take pictures and almost instantly have them on my computer! Upload them! Without paying $$ to get them developed! Hello typecasting!

It's been a couple years since I've had my own digital camera, and I could hardly be more excited. Plus, it's coming early. Even though it's a birthday present and I would normally not get it til the 23rd, Mom wants me to be able to take pictures of all the excitement coming up, adventures and getting ready for the big two-one, and she ordered the camera early! Also it's being delivered right to my apartment. YAY!

We're in Kent, WA, after photographing the last graduation of the season! Central Washington Unversity's Westside Commencement. We ate at Cheesecake Factory to celebrate. Sam and I split a Chocolate Raspberry Truffle slice.

We did the regular ceremony in Ellensburg yesterday, and the night before my sister brought a bag of clothes she's getting rid of for me to search through. I ended up taking about half the bag, including this awesome sweatshirt straight from the 80s. Bright colors in angular shapes...PLUS POCKETS!

Sam took the blue elf-like shirt with a funky long skinny hood. He's going to wear it for my birthday outing Thursday after next.

We are thinking of having a show, once I get my camera. Maybe I will post links to the videos here. I'm not sure what will happen during them, but it will probably be very silly, ridiculous, and possibly entertaining.

The air conditioner blows right on my feet at the hotel. I shouldn't have claimed the bed next to the window. Now we've all settled in it would be difficult to move...

I can't wait to be able to document the adventures I go on. I will probably be coming over to Seattle/Bellingham the next two weekends in a row! The best part of that is I hardly have to pay any for gas! Thank goodness for backpack-sized typewriters. I like having it with me, especially since I'll be able to TYPECAST with my NEW CAMERA after about Wednesday or Thursday this week. :)

Alright, I should go snack a tiny bit before we go into the city. (SEATTLE) Walkabouts and night pictures await!

We plan on getting me with my typewriter in the middle of a street downtown-ish later tonight, if it turns out I'll post it up here.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Back to Work...

I am yearning to communicate with the outside world. Outside of Image Studios, Engineering Outreach, my apartment and the one person I can always call on for a quick lunch or coffee date in the middle of the day (or night).

Outside the little bubble called Moscow, I want to find some strange interactions.

But that will come later. For now I have got to get back to entering names, emails, addresses and phone numbers of the recently graduated. Apparently the right side of WSU's 8am graduation didn't get entered this it's behind schedule. I'm here to catch it up! And then onto the last half of Gonzaga's Grad Grads! (graduate students that graduated...hehe)
Fingers ready?
Ok Go!!

BTW WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL DAY!! I wish I were outside enjoying it.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Happy Easter!

I know it's a day late, but I didn't have internet yesterday because I was too busy with the Easter Beer Hunt! :)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Typewriters and Typecasts...

Soon? I hope so.

I wish the computer that is attached to the scanner at this "Old Studio" wasn't so slow and frustrating. It's the only way I would ever be able to typecast! I photos are sort of an option, but I don't have a camera that's very good for close-up except my FM2...and I don't really want to have to wait to get my film developed just to post on a blog.
Also the cost of each frame on film is pretty high these days. Unfortunately! I love using film. 35mm and 120/220 are what I've had all my experience with, and love them both! Of course the 120/220 is much more expensive to get developed, but that camera has a built-in flash which actually does a pretty good job! It also has a wide angle lens so I can take pictures of more things at once! Haha. ah...

Anyway, lovely weather is here today! I just hope it can stay.

Especially since I am inside for most of the day, working on a report for a complicated decedent. Ahh tax season is almost completely behind us! Just a few loose ends, and I have to finish (finally) setting up mom's Quicken whatnots so we can keep her business (and personal) transactions all entered and IN ORDER throughout the year! Every other year I've had to sit down and enter the main bank account statements in an old mixed-up Quicken99 file from back when Dad was running things. It was HELL. (Excuse my language) Anyway, now the categories will make sense, the credit cards will be properly entered and reconciled with and even SHE can do the data entry. HOORAYYY! Also being able to look at profit/loss statements throughout the year would be awesome, if somewhat depressing until grads kickoff.


I am so nervous, and excited, and poor...what a perfect time for grad season to swoop in upon us and kill the month and three-quarters between the beginning of may and my birthday!

Hopefully I'll finally be caught up on rent by the end of June. Then I can re-sign the lease and not have to move in August!

Haha, J just gave me one of those Reese's peanut butter eggs, I'm glad he's in a pleasant mood. There's a lot of tough things going on in his sphere of the world lately. He's a good friend & semi business partner of my mom's who is also an Enrolled Agent. He's the reason I started learning how to do tax returns when I was 16! And the reason I discovered that I actually ENJOY DOING TAXES. Sometimes, anyway.

Allllright. I'd better get going. I really really promise soon there will be typewritten pages up here. There's a plan in the works with a fellow people-watching friend of mine to sit at this strangely placed stone table in front of a drive-thru coffee hut for a couple hours writing and watching in the's at a busy intersection next to campus on the "strip" in Moscow. We'll see how it goes!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Last Call for Espresso

That means it's time to go, soon.
Leaving this addicting land of internet.
They're cleaning the floor, so my mocha sort of tastes
like...well actually it tastes exactly like the mochas they make
here, which are delicious.
The cleaner doesn't smell too bad, though
I think maybe it should.
Then they could scoot people out of here and vacuum the carpet
earlier. (I happen to be occupying a corner
that is on carpet, myself.) I understand
their desire though, to be ready to leave not at midnight,
but closer to 11, which is when the doors officially close
at this corner coffee shop. It's all rectangles and squares, here.
All except the coffee.

I still need to write to you and tell you
things you probably didn't need to know.
So I will just abstain from sending it.

In other news:
my hair is ever-longer as the days go by, and finally
the front appears to be long enough that I don't necessarily
have to cut the back to prevent a mullet from growing.
How exciting!

Do you know what else is exciting?
It is springtime. Sort of. Though today was never above 40,
and there was a hailstorm, and my feet have been cold
for the entire duration of the day's exploits,
it is still springtime. And maybe in a few weeks
we will feel it here for more than a brief
April-Fool's Day prank from the weather gods.
(that was especially cruel, what a BEAUTIFUL day April 1st was)

Farewell for now, and good luck.

Monday, January 24, 2011

I had a poem to post today...

It was lovely, written on a (then) new graph-paper notebook
(Not spiral-bound) that I keep in the portfolio cover
My dear friend gave (lent) me last year,
And I wrote the poem quickly, in a calm
Of unresolved emotions. They are also unresolvable.
I wish I could show it to you, and that you would read
Through the tiny words, the big meanings,
and you would then understand that everything
is okay.

My love, always,