Time to dust off the ol' blog...
Annnd it is a time for writing. But it has been for a while. While the pen-and-paper method is satisfying texturally and textually it lacks a certain flexibility and communicability.
The void calls.
The words need to be shared.
The heart is sore - it has been put through the wringer lately, beaten on by a confusing mind and also filled-to-bursting with positive sensations. It aches, some of it hurts but some in a good way. The soft ache of muscles used productively in ways they haven't been used for a while, or ever.
I don't know how to say what I want to say. Not saying anything has lead to some physical symptoms I'm uncomfortable with. Literally. I haven't been physically comfortable for a few weeks now.
So it's time to express. Self-expression being my main hobby, I have found many other outlets for it in recent times. Not to avoid writing, but it's having that effect.
There's a spotlight on me, shining light on feelings and secrets I thought I was keeping to myself but that are being Seen...I feel exposed. I feel relieved. I feel sane. I feel grounded. I feel like I am floating away on a breeze full of warm thoughts. I feel like I've never been in love before. Or, maybe more accurately, that I've never let all of me be loved before. And I will be working on keeping less of myself all to myself.
For now that will be enough. And there is so much more to come.